It doesn’t matter whose fault it is or how far into the legal process your case happens to be, there are ways to stop your divorce if you are having reservations about breaking up with your spouse. With the right actions, attitude and a little luck, you may successfully salvage your relationship and make it better in the process.
Before going headlong into a plan to stop the divorce, explore your reasons for wanting to do so. Take a close look at your relationship and where things went wrong. Make sure your motives are pure. Also, be certain your union is worth salvaging, because not every marriage can or even should be held together.
If you decide you want to move forward and take action to stop the divorce, there are some steps you will want to take:
Step 1 – Reach Out To Your Spouse – While you can stop the divorce, or at least stall it, by contesting it, your best bet is to open up a line of communication with your spouse. Declare your desire to stop the process and make an attempt to work things out. Be aware that your spouse may not be willing to do so, but try to get the opportunity to at least discuss the possibility.
Step 2 – State Your Case – When you have your spouse’s ear, you will need to clearly, concisely and as calmly as possible state your case. Your spouse will need to hear why you want to stop the divorce and work things out, what you believe needs to be done to fix issues in your marriage and what steps you are willing to take.
Step 3 – Listen To Your Spouse – Open your ears and listen carefully to what your spouse has to say. Even if your spouse isn’t receptive to the idea of reconciliation, he or she may provide some insight you can use to improve your situation.
Step 4 – Evaluate What Has Been Said – After you have had the opportunity to discuss your desire to stop the divorce, reevaluate your position based on your spouse’s response. You may have gained valuable information about what needs to be done to set things right. If so, are you willing to take the actions your spouse suggested?
If your spouse is adamant about moving forward with the divorce, has another person in his life or if there was violence in your relationship, you may need to evaluate the wisdom in pursuing reconciliation. While it’s best to never say never, you also deserve an opportunity to make a fresh start and enjoy a healthy, happy relationship down the road.
Step 5 – Take Positive Action – If you and your spouse have agreed to work together to stop the divorce and rebuild your relationship to be stronger and better, it’s time to take action in a positive manner. Work together on the issues you’ve discussed and seek counseling, if it’s appropriate.
Keep in mind that repairing a relationship that was damaged enough to head for court can take a lot of time and effort. It is likely there will be many ups and downs along the way. Try to remain positive and keep working toward the ultimate goal: a relationship that is healthy and fulfilling for both of you.
Now, if your spouse doesn’t agree to stop the divorce, you can still take positive action to build a better future for yourself. Try to remain positive, work on building your self-esteem and gain strength from the lessons you’ve learned. In time, you may find yourself in a better position to enter into a new relationship that is healthier, happier and more fulfilling than the last.
In many cases, it is possible to stop your divorce and create a better relationship. Even when it is not, you can benefit immensely from examining how and why things went wrong and what you can do to enjoy a loving relationship in the future.