How to Keep Women from Crushing Your Self-Esteem

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Okay, so now we know that the purpose of all women’s brattiness, drama and unreasonable demands is to test us as men. So how do we deal with the tests that women throw out if we’re not supposed to give in to them?

Well, it begins with understanding which buttons women push when they test a man….they mess with his emotions. This shouldn’t come as any surprise to you if you’ve been in even one serious relationship with a woman. In fact, if a woman is interested in you as a potential date, she’s probably going to start pushing your emotional buttons from the first interaction.

At first, the tests with be minor, but the more serious she gets about you, the more intense her tests will get. When will they stop? Actually, that’s not a question that you want to ask…because the answer is that the tests will never stop.  A woman needs to know that she is secure and safe with her man, and you’d better believe that if she decides to spend her life with a man, she’s going to run a few tests now and then to find out if she’s still with a confident man.

But this is nothing to get discouraged about. Once you learn how to “pass” a woman’s test, you can actually have a lot of fun with it. But first, you have to understand that women test men by manipulating their emotions.

Now, in case you think that this is evil, here’s something  to consider: women have been at a significant disadvantage  to men in regard to power.. it’s been this way for hundreds of years and for the most part it still is. First of all, women are physically weaker than men which means that they can’t get they want by force or intimidation.

Not only that, for thousands of years, women have been in social positions which have deprived them of a great deal of independence and power. So they’ve had to develop other means for getting what they want…such as the ability to manipulate a person’s emotions.

So there’s no reason to be angry at her for pushing your emotional buttons in order to test your confidence as a man. They’re simply using the tools which they have depended on for thousands of years. This does put you at a slight disadvantage when it comes to maintaining your emotional stability when a woman tries to “take you to school” and test you.

But the bottom line is that emotional fortitude is a sign of maturity and it’s something which you need to have if you’re going to get desirable results with women. So let’s look at a few ways to develop emotional fortitude and keep women from stirring up negative feelings of insecurity.

First, become your own standard

A typical test which women will throw at men is questioning his sense of personal value. She might do it by teasing or criticizing him, and the tests can run anywhere from light hearted joking to ball-smoking jabs to the self-esteem. If you’re sensitive to criticism from women, it’s because you are allowing them to determine your value as a man. The only cure for this is to become your own standard and to not allow anyone else to question your value.

Now, this doesn’t mean that you lash out at her like a rabid dog every time she teases or criticizes you. In fact, lashing out is a clear sign that she has wounded your sense of personal value, and it’s a clear sign to her that you’re not a powerful and confident man. The best thing to do when a woman disapproves of you in some way is to reaffirm to yourself that you’re not responsible for her perceptions or assumptions about your value. That’s none of her business…it’s completely up to you. If you hand this power over to her, she’ll be able to crush your self-confidence whenever she wants….and she will, just to see if you have what it takes to be her man.

But affirming this to yourself in the secrecy of your own mind isn’t enough. You also have to be able to deflect the criticizing and teasing remarks…that’s where the second point comes in.

Second, Don’t Take Her Tests Seriously

The most powerful way to “pass” a woman’s test is to refuse to play along. Instead, you just tease her about the fact that she’s testing you. Make a joke out of it, and be light hearted, but confident at the same time. Teasing a woman and making a joke out of her tests is the perfect way to turn the tables and gain control of the interaction. This will demonstrate to her that you are a man of confidence who doesn’t allow his emotions to be shaken easily…and THAT is attractive to a woman.

For example, many women test men by trying to tell them how to dress in public. Even if they don’t directly say: “Don’t wear that,” they’ll make teasing or criticizing remarks about something the man is wearing. If you give in and changed the way you dress, you just lost. Instead, start teasing her and asking her for her “fashion police badge,” or tell her that you’re going to have it revoked.

Another test which women give on a regular basis is teasing or criticizing a man about the way he drives. Again, you can make a joke out of this by asking to see her “side seat driver’s license” or suggesting that she find a new career as a “driving consultant.” Just make sure that as you’re saying these things that your tone is playful and unthreatening.

Eventually, you can even use these teasing little comebacks as a way to flirt with her. If you make her laugh in the meantime, that’s perfect. But the key is to make a complete sidesplitting joke out of her tests.

Third, Don’t Carry Her Baggage

By far the mother of all tests which women will throw out is trying to make you responsible for their emotions, their choices or their assumptions. This is the typical: “You’re making me mad,” which they will either say out loud or communicate indirectly by being pouty or cold towards you. Again, this is a test and if you give in and try to make yourself responsible for her emotions, you lose.

Listen, you can’t “make” a woman angry, disappointed, sad, upset or grouchy. All of those things are completely under her control…she chooses her own attitude. The more that you make yourself responsible for her emotional baggage, the weaker you become.

Yes, it’s important to be compassionate when she’s sad, but you must never take responsibility for something which she really has control over. If your woman gets sad or pouty when you don’t give her exactly what she wants, you can tell her that you are sorry that she is sad but that she’s in control of her emotions and you’re not responsible for them.

This might sound mean, but it’s important to understand that women know they have control over their emotions…they just need a man who is strong enough to remind them and to refuse to allow himself to be manipulated by drama.

So be your own standard, learn to diffuse her tests using humor and don’t carry her baggage. This will free you up to focus on becoming your best self…

 

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