After reading the last chapter, I’m guessing that you probably understand why so many men are crippled by the fear of rejection. Most men believe that when a woman becomes demanding and tries to control him that he’d better either do what she wants or risk losing her. In other words, it’s because he fears rejection.
But what this kind of man doesn’t realize is that giving in to a woman is the very thing which is causing her to reject him. She tests him by making some kind of bratty or unreasonable demand, but in secret she’s testing him to see if he’s man enough and confident enough to stand his ground. She wants him to stand his ground, it gives her the assurance that he’s strong enough to take care of her.
It’s actually kind of interesting when you think about it, most men back down and allow a woman to walk all over them because they’re afraid of being rejected by her. What if more men actually knew why they were being tested by women? What impact would the fear of rejection on them then?
What if they understood that they could actually create magnetic attraction by demonstrating and conducting themselves as men of confidence who could stand their ground when being tested by an attractive woman? I’m guessing that the fear of rejection would cause them to step up their game and to respond to women’s tests like men instead of like little boys.
And the results would be attraction…an uncontrollable attraction which was created by a man who demonstrated unshakable confidence, in spite of being tested by a desirable woman. And this is the key to mastering the fear of rejection…getting it to work in your favor.
Of course you could always spend an hour a day in meditation, chanting positive affirmations to yourself and hoping that the fear of rejection will “go away.” But fear is a natural condition of our nervous system and that’s not what is going to change. What can change, however, is the actions which you decide to take in response to the fear of rejection.
You’re either going to keep giving in, believing that women really want you to do whatever they want and that if you don’t give in you’ll be rejected….or you can accept a test as a time to stand your ground or risk being rejected because you keep folding under pressure.
It’s really that simple, the fear of rejection can either work for you or against you.
But wait a second….why the indirect testing and the games?
Why can’t women just tell us what they want?
Well, that certainly would make it much easier for us as men….but then what?
Then every man would know exactly what “act” to put on in order to create attraction with a woman. Women would be left with no way to test men and find out whether or not they were being phony…they’d have to come up with a new way to do it, something which everyone didn’t already know the secret formula to. Something which would give them certainty that the man was acting out of his true nature, and not because he had been told how to act.
You see, a woman wants a man who is genuine… she doesn’t want a man who is playing the part just to lure her in and then do a 180 on her later. Think about it, would you want a woman to do this to you? So when you think about it, women test men indirectly as a defense against men who are faking self-confidence. And believe me, the more desirable and attractive a woman is, the better she has to be at testing men to see if their confidence is the real deal.
So the key to mastering the fear of rejection is the same as the key to building unshakable confidence: it’s all about knowing how to build attraction with a woman so that you can be certain in your interactions with them.
And the first principle to creating this attraction and therefore avoiding rejection is to be your own man, whether she likes it or not and to maintain control of your life when she is “trying” to control you. Remember, she doesn’t really want to control you, she wants to find out if you’re a man of strength, a man of confidence, a man that she can feel safe around.
This is what builds uncontrollable attraction with women…now let’s look at the first step to passing a woman’s tests…