As you were reading the last chapter about becoming your best self, you might have started to realize that these “hidden” parts of your personality represent your more emotional side. That’s because our emotions are the things which make us vulnerable and therefore the things which we feel that we have to protect.
The problem is that the more repressed your emotions are, the less you understand them and the less in touch you are with them. This creates an emotional deficit in your life which can only be filled one way: by attaching yourself to someone who has an overflow of emotions to make up for it…and that’s not a good thing.
Men who attract women with emotional problems are normally men who don’t have a lot of control and understanding of their own emotions. So they have to find a way to create some emotional intensity in their life….enter the drama queen.
In psychology, this is called a “merger wish.” It’s when you attach yourself to the other person in order to make up for something which is missing within you. Some people even believe that this kind of unhealthy attachment is love, and so they keep getting into unhealthy codependent relationships because of it.
So I’m sorry to be so blunt about this, but if you keep attracting women with emotional problems into your life it’s because you have your own issues to deal with. Think about it, the common denominator in all of your relationships is you, and the sooner you accept this, the sooner you’ll be empowered to get to work on the root of the problem.
The good news is that this can be accomplished by applying the principles you have already learned in this book. The more you practice these things, the more bulletproof you will become to drama, and the less drama queens you’ll have in your life.
You see, men who refuse to put up with drama from women simply don’t end up with women who have emotional problems. This is because they hold themselves to a higher standard and refuse to allow themselves to be controlled by a woman’s tests.
This causes two things to happen:
First, it causes the women who are genuine drama queens to give up and to move on to a man who they can control easily. But those kinds of women are very few and far between, so the men don’t miss out on much…and avoid a lot of heartache.
The second thing that happens is women who aren’t drama queens dish out less drama because they know he won’t put up with it and that if they want to be with him they’d better knock it off.
You see, most people (men and women alike) will dish out the maximum amount of drama that they can get away with. It’s just one of those funny things about human nature… we tend to sink down to the lowest common denominator, and there are few exceptions to this rule.
So if you’re not completely confident in yourself, you’ll do more than just attract women with emotional problems. You’ll also be an invitation for women who are “normal” to act like drama queens…simply because they can. So as soon as you’re done with this book, go back over the strategies in chapter 5 for dealing with drama and commit yourself to mastering them. It will save you a whole lot of heartache, it will help you to attract emotionally healthy women and it will ensure that the ones who you do attract will treat you right.
It’s also important for you to follow the journaling tip from chapter 6 and to start working on the things which you need to change about yourself in order to stop attaching yourself to women who have emotional problems. Of course, you could just keep looking for the “right” woman and avoiding all the crazies out there.
But it’s a hard (and liberating) fact of life that if you want to attract a certain type of person into your life, you must become the type of person who they will naturally be attracted to. There’s no way around this, only shortcuts which lead to frustration and messy codependent relationships that you have to chew your arm off in order to get out of.
I’m guessing that’s enough to inspire you to face yourself with courage, and that alone will empower you to become a man of unshakable confidence.
Now, let’s look at a final strategy for building attraction with women…this one is going to turn your world upside down…