Think you know what men want? Well, you might have some idea, but why else would you be reading if you knew everything a man wants? You should consider what turns men on and what turns them off. First, consider the turnoffs:
- Men are not interested in a high-maintenance girl. They are much more likely to fall in love with an easygoing one.
- Alright, ladies, you know who you are. Those who take two or three hours to get ready for a date… uh huh! Men want someone who can be ready without pulling out every hair device known to man each time you need to leave the house.
- The more you are able to “go with the flow,” the better to keep a man around.
- Men do not like boring women.
- This was discussed briefly in chapter two. Men want women who are interesting.
- Feel open to discussing many different topics. Have your own interests and hobbies, and keep yourself interesting.
- Besides, interesting women have a life; creepy stalkers don’t. Which one would you like to be?
- Men do not like women who are constantly negative; they like happy women!
- Stop whining! Men hate to hear about girl drama.
- Keep your complaints to a minimum. If all he hears you talk about is how the service at the restaurant sucks and the weather has been horrible and your friend insulted you the other day, he’s not going to want to take you on a second date.
- A good rule to follow is saying two positive things for every negative comment. Just don’t spend your whole date complaining about everything.
- Be careful not to nag. There are ways to ask for help or to request he do something without constant nagging and telling him what he’s not doing right.
- Men do not get turned on by weak women; they like strong women!
- This point is worth repeating: do not be the damsel in distress every waking minute.
- A man likes a woman who can be mostly self-sufficient and strong.
- Don’t ask him to do every little thing for you around the house.
- Know how to stand up for yourself.
- Men like women who have got their life together.
- Make sure you are eating well and taking care of your health.
- Are you keeping your house as tidy as you can? Take pride in your home, however big or small it may be.
- If you have kids, are you making sure their needs are met and they are well taken care of?
- Do you make time for yourself for “me time”?
- Men fall in love with beautiful women, not ugly women.
- This doesn’t mean you have to be a supermodel or have designer clothes. Beauty is not just skin-deep.
Take Bianca, for example. She’s sweet as pie, but she’s not slim. In fact, her weight might be one of the first things you would notice. Despite her weight, you would also notice that she is always put together. She has a way of dressing and presenting herself that emphasize her assets. Her makeup never looks overdone, and she exudes confidence.
A stylish southern belle once told Bianca, “You have the most gorgeous skin and hair. I just wanted to tell you that you’re gorgeous!”
The point is you don’t have to be 5’7” and 125 pounds to be beautiful. A man loves a woman who is proud of her body. When you are confident, it is very attractive. Dressing in sloppy clothes or being lazy with fixing your hair or makeup can be a big turn-off to a guy. You have what men are looking for if you just show them what you’ve got.
You also don’t need to break the bank to dress nicely. Name-brand designer clothes can be found at thrift stores, and, of course, off-brand threads can be stylish too. You can put together an inexpensive nice look for yourself if you put forth the effort.
Show men that you know how awesome you really are. Don’t be cocky, but don’t be shy about showing off what you’ve got either. If you’re proud enough to show yourself off, he’ll be proud to show you off too! Work with what you have and have a great time showing him just how awesome you are!
Exercising: What Do You Need to Change?
In addition to being happy with what you’ve got, it is important to exercise. When you exercise, you feel better about yourself from the increased endorphins, and it gives you a way to work on what you need to improve.
Do you want to gain strength? Work on toning your legs? Or maybe you just want to exercise for your health. Whatever it is that you want to work on, go for it! Find a friend who wants to work out together for motivation. You don’t have to lose weight, but it looks good to him if you take the time to care for your body.
Classes at the gym are also a fun way to do something new. A pole-dancing fitness class, for example, sounds a bit risqué but is actually fun, classy and provides a way to exit your comfort zone and try something new.
Why Men Commit
According to some men, they commit because they don’t think they can do any better or they think they might lose you. Now, this may sound pretty basic, but men aren’t really all that complicated!
If a man thinks he can’t do any better than you, that means you have done your job. You have made him think you are a goddess and you are worthy of him committing to a long-term relationship and maybe even marriage.
A man also might commit if he thinks he might lose you. If he is so in love that it would pain him to see you with anyone else, he is willing to commit to a long-term relationship.
Why Men Don’t Commit
Some men never have the desire to commit. Watch for these signs to spot a “player” or someone who is afraid of a long-term relationship:
A man who is a player:
- Never tells you anything that would make you think he wants to commit.
- Continues to date other people while he is dating you.
- He lets you know all the time that there are other women and that there will always be other women.
A man who is afraid to change:
- Is a friend with benefits and has no desire to change that.
- Is very unlikely to commit because he will never put you into the “long-term relationship” category.
A man who is afraid to commit:
- Has possibly had a messy breakup or divorce.
- Is trying to concentrate on his work and building his career.
- Is just wanting to “play around.”
Be aware of these types of men and evaluate if they are worth trying to stay with. Most men who fall into these categories are unlikely to change for you, or any girl.
Of course, there are also reasons a man won’t commit that aren’t his fault. Sometimes a man will date a woman but be reluctant to commit long-term if you exhibit some of the following:
- You are too emotional.
- You find yourself getting mad at him for no reason.
- You bring up old arguments during new ones and never resolve your issues.
- He feels like she will never be happy with him. That certainly turns him off from putting a ring on your finger.
- You want to change him.
- You are trying to change his habits, aspirations or appearance.
- He thinks you are trying to make him the man you really want.
- Let him change on his own terms and support him to be the man he is.
- You don’t get along with his family and friends.
- Men want to please their friends and family when they bring someone home.
- Telling them that they are committed or engaged to someone they don’t really like would be hard.
- You dislike his family for one reason or another, and you let him know it.
All of these things could be causing him to waiver on the decision to commit. Get in control of your emotions and learn how to have disagreements. It’s ok to have arguments, but try not to argue over something silly. Learn how to let things go.
Also, try to accept him for who he is, and try to also accept his friends and family. Obviously you don’t have to love everyone he loves, but getting along is key in a relationship. Be mature and learn to get along with people for the sake of your relationship. Learn to agree to disagree. Being pleasant with his relatives will get you a lot further than giving them the cold shoulder.