Now that you have the tools to figure out how to present yourself, you can pick up a man almost anywhere! No really, anywhere. Always be on the lookout for a prospective boyfriend at the supermarket, mall, bank and pretty much everywhere you venture.
How to Pick up a Stranger
So, what if you see an attractive guy sitting next to you as you get your oil changed in your car? How do you get him to talk to you without just blurting out something stupid like, “You’re hot!”? Maybe you’re good at small talk or maybe you’re not, but it’s worth a shot.
Observe what he’s doing while he’s in the waiting area at the shop. Is he reading a magazine? Texting a buddy? Make a comment on the story he might be reading in the magazine or ask him how he likes the case on his phone. Seem genuinely interested in his answer and give him time to tell his story. Then you can let him ask some questions. Just make sure you’re not interrupting a phone conversation!
No matter how you strike up conversation, you should be able to tell immediately if a guy might be into you. If he keeps talking to you, that’s your first hint. Secondly, he might move on to talk about something else and then even ask you a question. Small talk is a tool you can use to your advantage. Pick-up lines almost never work, so sticking with positive small talk is key.
Find Your Courage and Ditch Fear and Inhibitions
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid you’ll make a fool of yourself? A good tip to use before speaking up is to stop thinking. Don’t run through the 135 things you could say in your head. Say what comes naturally to you and keep it simple. Chances are he will keep the conversation going. Find your courage and conquer your fears.
Don’t be afraid to speak up. Even if you assume he’s single and he’s not, the worst thing that can happen is that you had a nice conversation with a taken man. Just think of it as good practice for next time. Push yourself to step out of your comfort zone. It will build your confidence and make it easier the next time you approach a stranger with small talk.
Women have the tools to meet a man wherever and whenever. At the store, out with your girlfriends at a bar, at the golf course or anywhere else you go. You don’t have to intentionally be trying to run into someone single to meet someone.
How to Turn an Existing Friendship into a Relationship
Do you have that one guy in your life that you’ve known since grade school? Maybe you have a new friend that you met through a group but have never really hung out one-on-one but you have a huge crush on him? If you want to try to turn this friendship into a relationship, you need to feel him out first.
Perhaps this guy you know was in a committed relationship when you initially met but is now available. Maybe you gave off a “vibe” initially that indicated you weren’t interested. No matter what put you into the “just friends” category, you can change your role:
- Spend more time together.
This seems pretty self-explanatory, but nonetheless, you might not be spending a lot of time together. Changing that can be the first step to turning this friendship into something more. Ask him to come do something fun with you or invite him to a holiday party.
- Ask him questions.
Give him the chance to share more about himself. Don’t ask him questions like, “What do you do at your job?” Instead, ask him things like, “What is your favorite outdoor activity?” or “What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten?” Questions like these are creative and get him talking to you on a different level.
- Make physical gestures.
Make attempts to be physically closer. Do not jump on him when he sits down to play poker at your friend’s house. First, try touching his hand in a flirty way. If he responds positively after a few times, this gives you the green light to proceed.
- Make romantic gestures.
Find ways to incorporate romantic things into your relationship. Do things that are normally reserved for couples. This could be anything from making a meal together to attending his company party with him to buying him a present for his birthday. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it will definitely make him feel more connected to you.
The best thing to remember if you’re trying to turn a friendship into a relationship is to never be pushy. You don’t want to scare him off or make him feel uncomfortable. Resist the urge to be a stalker!
Is There Any Hope for a Current Yucky Relationship?
Are you in a relationship that has gone stale? Maybe you want to make things better, but you just aren’t sure how to do so. The difficult part is pinpointing your problems and deciding if they are worth fixing.
Don’t nag your partner. Men do not like nagging and complaining. Also, don’t blame him for your failing relationship. It could be just as much your fault as it is his.
If you merely haven’t been good at communication, there is hope for you. Learn new ways to communicate. Speak with a relationship therapist for suggestions of how to communicate more effectively.
Of course, some relationships may not be repairable. If he is addicted to drugs or alcohol, chances are he’s always going to have these problems. Additionally, if he is abusive toward you, your friends or your children, he is not worth trying to make it work.
All relationships reach a point when you’re no longer in the honeymoon phase. You need to evaluate your relationship to see if this is your problem. When you are in a relationship for a long time, it becomes work. Instead of being all ooey-gooey in love, you find that it’s more challenging to keep things interesting.
Cheating is another area that is not often “fixable” in a relationship. If he is cheating or you have been cheating, chances are the relationship is done. It’s up to you to decide what you’re willing to put up with and change to make things better. If it doesn’t seem worthwhile, it is time to end the relationship.