Warning Signs and How to Remedy Them

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Many people have blind spots when it comes to their relationships.  If you want to save your relationship and keep it from becoming vulnerable to infidelity, a breakup, or divorce, pay close attention to these potential relationship killers:


Taking your relationship or your partner for granted


It’s far too easy to take people or things for granted when they are part of our life on a regular basis.  But if you do this with your relationship, you may get a rude wake-up call when he’s no longer in your life one day.  Make it a point to express gratitude and appreciation for your partner on a daily basis.  Don’t ever let the words “I love you” disappear from your vocabulary.  If you become lazy in your relationship, it may atrophy and die.


Remind yourself often of all the things you value about your partner and your relationship.  Gratitude is a powerful thing.  Your partner will be much more likely to reciprocate and stay faithful if he feels significant, special, cherished and truly loved by you.  Don’t give your partner any reason to look for appreciation elsewhere.


Neglecting your partner’s needs


Relationships develop because they fulfill needs for both parties.  Part of your responsibility as a partner is to make sure you aren’t ignoring or neglecting your significant other’s needs.  This is not to say you are responsible for meeting all of his needs, but fulfill the ones you can, and ask your partner to let you know if he feels neglected at any point.  If you don’t, your partner may look elsewhere for fulfillment.


Lack of sexual intimacy


As addressed earlier in the section on sexless relationships, sexual intimacy plays a powerful and important role in your relationship.  If sex is becoming less and less frequent, be proactive and talk to your partner.  Communication is vital if your sex life is to thrive and be fulfilling for both of you.


Lack of open, honest communication


Communication problems can slowly tear apart any relationship.  Keep the lines of communication open and healthy with your partner at all times.  Don’t allow anger, bitterness or resentment to fester and grow.  And be willing to listen when your partner needs to talk to you.  If you struggle with communication, consider seeing a therapist to help you find ways to open up and communicate more effectively.  This is one of the most important things you can do to keep your marriage healthy and happy.


Not making time for your partner


Not making time for your partner is a form of neglect.  You owe it to your relationship to make time for each other.  No matter how busy your schedule, you must find time to spend some alone time with your partner regularly.  (Sleeping together doesn’t count as “alone time”).


You need to make time outside of the bedroom that includes time for conversation as well as fun and relaxation.  Remember, we make time for the things that we truly value.  If time with your partner isn’t on that list, it’s time to re-prioritize!


Thinking that your relationship is invulnerable


If you think your relationship is immune to serious problems such as infidelity, it’s time you do a reality check.  NO relationship is completely invulnerable.  Far too many people have naively convinced themselves that “my partner would never do something like that”, only to eat those words at a later date.


This isn’t to make you paranoid, but is rather a caution to keep your eyes open and pay attention to what’s going on in your relationship.  If you don’t, you may end up blindsided and devastated like so many men and women who think they have a wonderful relationship one minute, only to find out they couldn’t be more wrong the next.  By accepting the possibility, you are more likely to heed any warning signs before it’s too late.


Putting your career ahead of your relationship


If you are merely dating, it makes sense that you might sometimes put your career ahead of your relationship.  But if you are married or in a serious, committed relationship, you are jeopardizing your relationship if you put your career first.  This includes being a workaholic and neglecting to spend time with your partner.  If you want your relationship to be a long-lasting one, it’s not likely to happen if your partner must constantly take a back seat to your career.


Granted, early on in a budding career your job may require long hours.  Of course, there are times when sacrifices must be made.  If your career must be first for awhile in order  for you to be able to advance at some point, then make sure the limited time you spend with your partner is quality time.  But remember, if you continue to put your career first over the course of several years, or become a workaholic, your partner may begin to resent you, and either leave altogether or become unfaithful.


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